so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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