he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
