Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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