I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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