Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
