He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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