if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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