Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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