moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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