i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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