omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
