I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize