Can i not drive my cunt home
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!