We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.