Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
