Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority