is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
