I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We named our party play list daddy issues
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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