so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize