Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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