I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
