He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
