My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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