just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
