I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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