How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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