you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
