good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
