I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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