HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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