Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
