You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
