did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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