i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I supernannyed him into submission
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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