I accidentally had phone sex last night
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
time to smoke my breakfast
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
