shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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