CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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