can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
