no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
false alarm, still single
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
His nipple licking is glorious
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