do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
