we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
