the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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