Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In the future we'll all be gay
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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