i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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