just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize