I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize