i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
