I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
