Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
