i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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