so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
