Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
