Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I had your ass I would rule the world
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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