Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize