at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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